I've often wondered about your question of where people go when they commit suicide. On some level, suicide is like saying to God, will control my destiny and take my own life. I do not trust you with my life. I will not give you my life. I am not willing to endure heartache in order for you to refine me, make me a better person, or to take me to a place, time and purpose you have prepared in advance for me.
That's saying a lot of faithless/ trustless things to God.
Did you know that the Bible says, "A live dog is better than a dead lion?" It passage goes on to say, "Because, where there is life there is hope."
Imagine a starving dog that everyone kicks around. What good is it? What future can it have? However, that starving dog has more hope that the dead carcass of a once mighty lion. For because that that dog is alive, it may find a hope and a home. However it will not find happiness if it is dead.
That's how it is for us. God never promised life would be easy. However, He did promise He would be near the broken hearted. In times of crisis, it may feel He's far away, but He's really nearby. He's waiting for you to lean into Him; to lean your head upon his shoulder.
I know you may have made some bad choices and/or had some tough circumstances, but so? These choices and circumstances don't mean it's the end of the road. If you turn to God, if you are willing to say, "I will trust you no matter my pain," then God will take you on a new journey; a journey of hope.
The journey may be at times painful, you may find yourself in places you don't want to be, but keep walking, one step at a time, and one day you will be able to look back to see that you've been climbing a mountain. You will see you've left the valley far below. You will discover unimaginable joy and beauty. Happiness may be yours.
Please do not give up on yourself, dear one. Please do not give up on faith, hope or God. For yes, it's true, God has a plan for you. Turn to Him. Cling to Him. Seek Him as you make your decisions. Pray, "God if you were here, what would you have me do?" And remember, God will never call you to go against His word or the ten commandments, no matter how you may feel.
God will guide you out of your valley, one step at a time. It may seem like a long journey, but you will arrive at His destination in His perfect time. You will one day rediscover joy. You will find real peace.
Are you willing to pray this prayer?
God, I've made a lot of mistakes, I give them ALL to you now. I give you my sin and my pain. You promise in Your Word, that you can take ANYTHING and turn it into good. so I give you my life, including all my mistakes, heartache, and worries. Please, Lord, turn them all into good and show me as you do.
Dear one, over time you will see God's mighty hand moving in your behalf. For His arm is never to short to help the one who calls out to Him, who commits their ways to Him, who trusts in Him. Let that one be YOU.
In the meantime, you might enjoy reading the letter I posted at:
Will you go to hell if you commit suicide? Possibly. It's not worth the risk.
God is going to see you through this dear one. Please, please do not do anything to hurt yourself.
You are going to make it. Wait. Wait on God. In the meantime, if thoughts of suicide get too heavy, go to the hospital or call 911. Call your doctor as well.
You are going to make it. I'm praying for you.
Here are a few things I think God wants you to know:
- He loves you with an everlasting and tender love and he is grieved by your pain.
- He wants you to cast your burdens or pain on him. Try it today, ask God, through Jesus, to carry your heartache.
- He wants you to give him all the circumstances that have hurt you. When you do, he will be able to release you from much of the pain you are carrying.
I myself have had terrible circumstances in my life. When my baby was thrown out of a car during a violent car crash, she spent a year in coma. The doctors tried to get me to pull her plug and end her life. I was finally so distraught that I almost pulled her plug and my plug as well.
Finally, even though I didn't want to, I gave my daughter up to God. I came Him the circumstance she was in -- blind, on life support, unable to speak. When I did, He did not heal her, instead, he gradually began to heal my heart. It took a lot of time. Now, 15 years later, my daughter is still terribly disabled, but both our hearts are healed. My daughter is joyful and free of the heartaches of life. And so am I.
That can happen for you too. Someday you will smile.
Please, do not take your life. Please allow time and God to heal your heart. I know that you are hurting. But others have been where you are, and have walked, one step at a time, out of the darkness.
You will too. You are going to make it.
To read my story, click here.
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Here's what I recommend to you:
- We need other believers for encouragement. Find a church home. See if you can find a small Bible study of people in your age range. Call some of the bigger churches in your area and see if they have anything to offer for your age group. This could be a home Bible study or a Sunday school class.
- Listen to inspirational music. There's a lot of Christian music in different styles. Maybe you've got a great Christian radio station in your area or maybe you can find one on the web that plays a style of Christian music that speaks to you like http://www.klove.com/listen/. You can also go to a Christian bookstore and listen to their CDs until you find something that helps you to feel worshipful.
- Read the book, Purpose Driven Life. This is a great Bible study and you need to have the Word in your life every day.
- Take time to read the Bible. If you don't have a Bible, there are versions available on the web that you can download.
- Read the instant download, Grief Relief.
- Listen to free, encouraging downloads at www.BestCDDownloads.com
Don't do anything to harm yourself. You are so loved. Please give your situation time, please allow God time to move. He may be waiting for you to give in to Him, to say, God I will trust you, no matter what. Try trusting God and see what will happen.
Also, please go in for a medical checkup and tell your doctor about how you feel emotionally. Your doctor may have medications that can help you get over this 'bump' in the road.
Also, I highly recommend counseling. You may find a pastor in your church or other local church or some other professional who will understand and help you with your struggles.
WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU!
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