I'm so glad you wrote me because we need to talk about this 'guy' thing.
Guys are wonderful and God has a very special guy planned for you to be with
You will not be ready to find the guy God has for you until you realize that a relationship with a guy is not your reason for being. Your reason for being is to know God and for him to know you. God loves you so much and has a very special purpose for you. (See if you can check out a copy of the book, Purpose Driven Life, at your library.)
God wants you to get to know him, to read the Bible. (Start with the book of John)
He wants you to find friends who love him and he wants you to spend time with them. Do you have a Bible club at your school or do you go to church anywhere?
Once you realize that you were created for God and that your existence is not about a relationship with a guy, then God will be able to lead you in your dating friendships.
Plus, you will have more self confidence. You will feel good about yourself. These are qualities that guys like in a girl. It's hard for guys to have a relationship with a girl who is 'suicidal' and talks about killing herself when she doesn't get the attention she wants. This 'game' could even set you up to be used by a guy who does not have your best interest at heart. You could be used by someone who really doesn't love you and you deserve SO MUCH MORE than that. You are a daughter of the King. You are worthy of having a guy who cares for you and does not use you.
You need to do some serious praying. Here's how -- Give your whole life to God. All of it. Pray this:
Lord, I give you my whole life, every dark corner of it. Thank you for sending your son to die for my sins, in my place. I give you my whole life and follow you. The word says that 'By His stripes (that means the marks of the whip) we are healed. I believe this healing to be true for me as well. I exchange my fear and pain and thoughts of death for trust, trust in you. For it is written that all things work for the good of those who love the Lord, who are called according to his purpose. Therefore, there is nothing that the enemy or the world can do to me that You cannot turn into good. From now on, when life starts to hurt, I will trust you by an act of my will, and I will remember that You will use even the painful circumstances for good. -- in your son Jesus' blessed name.
You may need to pray this every day.
Every day, say this aloud -- "God has set me free through his son Jesus. Today I will live in joy and peace. I will trust God with my whole life."
Start thanking God for what He is doing. For He is moving in your life. You are going to be okay. You are a wonderful young woman and God has not forgotten you. But quit looking to relationships with guys for your purpose. If you try to find your purpose there, you will only find heartache. Be the girl God wants you to be. Then, in his good time, you will find the perfect guy for you.
It may not happen overnight, and you may date lots of guys in between, but that's okay. Stay pure and do not have sex with the guys you date. If you've already done this, ask God to forgive you and pray:
"Dear Lord, please restore to me my purity and break any soul ties I may have made with the guys I've dated. In Jesus' name."
When you draw near to God, He will begin to reveal His purpose for you. Though, don't expect him to put it on a billboard. God usually doesn't shine a spot light to guide you, He generally uses a flashlight to show you - only- your next step. He does that so that you will learn to trust Him.
I'm praying for you dear one. You are going to be okay.
Don't forget, God's got your situation in hand!
Please, do not take your life. Please allow time and God to heal your heart. I know that you are hurting. But others have been where you are, including me, and have walked, one step at a time, out of the darkness.
You will too. You are going to make it.
To read my story, click here.
Here's what I recommend to you:
- We need other believers for encouragement. Find a church home. See if you can find a small Bible study of people in your age range. Call some of the bigger churches in your area and see if they have anything to offer for your age group. This could be a home Bible study or a Sunday school class.
- Listen to inspirational music. There's a lot of Christian music in different styles. Maybe you've got a great Christian radio station in your area or maybe you can find one on the web that plays a style of Christian music that speaks to you like http://www.klove.com/listen/. You can also go to a Christian bookstore and listen to their CDs until you find something that helps you to feel worshipful.
- Read the book, Purpose Driven Life. This is a great Bible study and you need to have the Word in your life every day.
- Take time to read the Bible. If you don't have a Bible, there are versions available on the web that you can download.
Don't do anything to harm yourself. You are so loved. Please give your situation time, please allow God time to move. He may be waiting for you to give in to Him, to say, God I will trust you, no matter what. Try trusting God and see what will happen.
Also, please go in for a medical checkup and tell your doctor about how you feel emotionally. Your doctor may have medications that can help you get over this 'bump' in the road.
Also, I highly recommend counseling. You may find a pastor in your church or other local church or some other professional who will understand and help you with your struggles.
WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU!
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